Light and Enlightenment

I have spent the day bathed in light.  I have described myself as ‘an artist surrounding herself with the light and color I see around me’.  And until yesterday, I worked in the studio at the mercy of brilliant sunshine on those good days, and totally inadequate strip lights when the glom and the rain set in.  I saw the light so-to-speak at another’s studio with their daylight bulbs, and knew I had to have them.  Now, I can see the paint, the textures, the gloss and shine.  And I will ignore the cobwebs in the previously shadowy corners; spiders don’t bother me and I will leave them in peace.

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Enlightenment came about in part because of Richard Diebenkorn. he wrote in his ‘Notes to myself on beginning a painting’ that #1- attempt what is not certain.  Certainty may or may not come later.  It may then be a valuable delusion.’  I had become aware of a stability and sameness in my painting over the last while.  What I completed was good and I was happy with them.  But I was not thrilled, intrigued, delighted to see and want to know.  There was no risk.  The only thing I was certain about was the series of paintings on canvas and paper I had started 6 months ago- a suite I called Procession- was not going to work, and I painted over them.  And the canvases where I spent time tipping them up and down and all around trying to figure out the’right’ way up- those have been painted over. There were some really beautiful passages but they were like passing thoughts.  I will remember them.  Maybe they will turn up again.  i am now ready to start something new.  I don’t know what.  Or when.  Or how.  Or why.  While I am waiting, I will turn on my lights and doodle and sketch and mix up new colors.  And say Hi to the spiders.

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